Number 10:
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9:
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7:
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6:
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4:
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3:
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2:
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT TO PONDER IN 2006:


We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

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